There’s something not quite right…


Just a quick aside,

This is the view from my desk! Not bad at all!

Back to my main thought for the day! Being Irish I have come to accept and to a certain extent, expect stereotypes. I wouldn’t say I was oblivious to it all when at home but I realised the extent of stereotypical Irishness when I moved to Dundee and Sheffield. It can be summed up as follows:

At home in Ballymuckshanty, I share a thatched cottage (which, incidentally, is made completely out of potatoes) with my eighteen brothers, fourteen sisters and various farm animals, in a lush green field of four leafed clovers (probably close to a peat bog) where I spend my days playing “diddly di diddly o” music (with a shelalee and my backing band of leprechauns and drunk priests) while skulling fourteen pints of Guinness per hour (with Jameson whiskey chasers obviously) in between bowls of Lucky Charms and shouting “top of the mornin’ to ya” at any passer-by regardless of what time of the day it is!

Might be a slight exaggeration there? My point is that having now moved to Switzerland I understand that every country suffers from this. Before I moved I was told all sorts of myths and old wives tales about Switzerland and the Swiss. While its too early to confirm or deny them all, I have to agree with one.

1. Cleanliness

I was told that Switzerland is very clean and you know what? The streets here are very clean. I have been walking around thinking “there’s something not quite right here”. Then it dawned on me! Amazingly there’s no litter. Even more “amazingly-er” is the fact that there are very few litter bins. Finally, I haven’t seen a single bin-man, street cleaner or skip. Not even an overflowing rubbish bin. How do they do it? I thought you may ask and I have the answer:

I reckon hundreds of small Swiss people wearing Swatch watches and dressed like the Vatican Swiss Guard, with cuckoo clocks (that are made out of chocolate) hung round their necks leave the bank vaults at night and stuff all the litter into the holes in Swiss cheese (I knew there was a reason for the holes) before hopping onto a cow (with a big bell round its neck) and transporting the rubbish quietly (its after 10pm of course) to a really big wooden chalet somewhere in the mountains to dispose of it in giant fondue pots. Clever people these Swiss!

All I can say is “long live stereotypes!”


One response to “There’s something not quite right…

  1. So that’s where all the trash goes!

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