Taking advantage of the snow and the Swiss train system, Eva, Simone and I went to Engelberg on Sunday to ski. Larry, a friend of mine from college very generously donated an old pair of skis and boots to me when we went to Tignes a few weeks ago. For a beginner like me this was an ideal start to learning the dark art of skiing! We set off on Sunday so I could fine tune my piste technique!
The view from the piste. Great weather, just needed a little more snow
Things weren’t as straight forward as I planned. The skiing was fine, a little icy and tricky in places but generally good. However I managed to bend both of my ski poles during the course of the day. I want to give you my side of the story and what Eva and Simone “claim” to have happened. I’ll let you, my loyal and devoted readers decide on the correct story!
So my story:
I’d set the fuses for three minutes. A little tight as I hadn’t factored in the three perimeter guards I had to “silence” on the way out. Once outside the camp I realised the escape route down the gondola cable was out of the question and went for plan B. I clipped into my skis quietly, took in a few deep breaths and made my way down the mountain. Ten seconds later the bombs I’d planted on the heavy water tanks exploded. Thinking I was home and dry I leisurely picked my way down the almost vertical cliff. Then out of nowhere four guards, dressed in black and carrying machine guns caught up with me. I’ll save you the details but needless to say one pole was wrapped round a guys neck and the other was used to jam the gears on the gondola to stop the reinforcements from getting down. I ended up with a few bumps and scratches but all in a days work. I headed back to the girls and claimed I’d fallen a few times going down the red slope. They still don’t know the whole truth!
Barry was on the ski lift with us. He was dangling the poles between his legs and generally not paying attention. As we came to the end of the lift he managed to get the poles stuck between the chair lift and the ground. The poles were dragged along under the lift and ended up with a 45 degree angle. What a muppet.
I’m sticking to my story and thats final. Vodka martini please, shaken not stirred.