The New Jersey Diet

There comes a time in every mans life when the metabolism begins to slow and weight starts being distributed to less desirable areas of the body. It’s when the futile claims of “just one more pint” or “what, there’s one pork chop left…well it’d be rude not to!” catch up with you and you know things have to change. I think I’ve reached this milestone, the pendulum is swinging and I’m determined to do something about it.

To combat the ever increasing size of my mid torso, I’m going on the New Jersey diet. You mightn’t have heard of this one before. The Atkins and South Beach diet have been popular over the last while. These diets generally involve lots of carbs or no carbs, high/low salt, low fat, omega oils, trans fatty acids, vitamin supplements, rigourous work outs, grapefruit only meals, GI indexes and a bit of pilates. But that’s all a little too much for me.

The reason I need to lose weight and I’ve decided on the New Jersey diet is because I’ve ordered a new jersey (see what I did there?). A new rugby jersey to be precise. The official Ireland World Cup rugby jersey has been ordered and will hopefully be in the post soon. This new jersey encapsulates all of the modern fabric design and technology.

Here’s the bumpf from the website:

Canterbury has also dispensed with its classic loop collar and replaced it with a tight-fitting, asymmetric neck-line – again to reduce fabric that an opponent could grip on to.

The slim-fitting garments include Lycra side panelling to ensure a snug fit and increased comfort. Each jersey also includes a series of grip areas where a unique rubberised polymer has been added to the shirt to enhance ball handling and binding.

You’ll notice it mentions tight fitting and slim-fitting. There’s the problem, I have to redistribute the “muscle” from my gut somewhere! I’m looking for a wingers physique, not a prop row forward and so I’ve been walking on Sunday, running on Tuesday and playing squash on Wednesday. All for my country’s cause!!

On another note, I’m excited about the “grip areas” and “rubberised polymer”. I definitely need to get out more I think!


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