Gets my goat…

I’m not a violent man and would rather avoid confronatation where possible. I also believe that there’s still a place in society for manners and a touch of chivalry. It’s never killed anyone, has it?

Last night I stopped to pick up “the messages” from the supermarket. Fruit, breakfast juice, clothes hangers…the usual! It was rush hour at the tills and everyone was flat out. So with no obvious advantage to any queue I picked the closest and took my place behind a girl with a trolley. As we edged further I realised she had difficulty moving, her legs were deformed and she was relying on the trolley for support. Her crutches were in with her shopping.

As we got closer to the checkout, with about three people to go, the woman at the till put up the “Closed Till” sign and motioned to the other queues. There was a collective weary sigh and we started shuffling over. Then out of no where two lads arrive over, each carrying three cans of beer and a packet of crisps, bump past the girl with the trolley and take her place in the queue.

I nearly exploded, having to queue again was bad enough but this made me see red. I was fuming and desperately trying to formulate “Oi, give the girl a chance, do us all a favour and go shove your beer and your crisps up your rear passage, move to the back of the queue or I’ll break your legs with my shopping basket and then do it for you, cretins” in German. Of course, instead, I bottled it up, smiled sheepishly to the girl and looked the other way.

I can’t wait to get to the “How to insult people” chapter in our German course. I’m going to study that one real good.


5 responses to “Gets my goat…

  1. Here is a good place to start, Presenting: “The Alternative German Dictionary”

  2. Genius Robert! I’ve just thrown the old textbook out the window. This is the way forward!

  3. It has nothing to do with the German lessons, you will definitely know, how to act in this situation but to say it in German needs lots of mental power.
    Ask them if they didn’t notice that other people were queuing up already but they have difficulties to come along. Maybe they can do something good and carry the bought products to her apartment. But definitely they need glasses to find the beginning of the queue.

    Your sentence translated into German:
    „Hei, gebt doch der Dame eine Chance. Mach uns allen einen Gefallen indem du dir das Bier und die Chips den Arsch hoch schiebst. Gehe an den Start der Schlange oder ich werde dir mit meinem Einkaufskorb die Beine brechen und nachher das mit dem Bier und den Chips machen, Idioten.“

    If you need more translation help use the attached link


  4. Brilliant stuff, the blogosphere is worth it’s weight in gold! I’ve just shown it to my lab colleagues (all Swiss German) and they’re rolling round the place laughing!

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